Past is Pain
by AlliedHeart
Summary: After Neal's arrival in Storybrooke, Emma finally gets around to telling her parents a little bit about her past, specifically, the parts involving Neal himself. NOT a Neal/Emma story. One-shot.


**A/N: Started off as just a little scene I wish they had put in Season 2, but takes a turn into complete family fluff mode. Takes place right after Emma, Henry, Snow and David return to the apartment where Emma apologizes to Henry for lying about his father at the end of Season 2 Episode 18: Selfless, Brave and True. Enjoy! :) **

Feeling much better after her talk with David, Snow knew they had something else to deal with at the moment. She glanced toward the stairs where her grandson had just disappeared and then toward the kitchen where her daughter was preparing what looked like three mugs of hot chocolate. The woman took a moment to revel in the calmness of her daughter's pale face. She knew Emma was rarely at peace with anything so she let her enjoy the moment.

She exchanged a soft smile with her husband before making her way over to Emma.

"Only three?" She asked her, noticing the number of the mugs was one shorter than what she was expecting.

"Well, I figured you guys would want some too." Emma answered, a brief flash of insecurity passing over her face.

Snow felt a pang in her heart as she realized her daughter was still unsure of how to be a part of a family. With a slight flash of anger and guilt over Emma's childhood that she knew very little about, she decided that she was going to have to fix that.

"Of course," smiled David warmly, clearly coming to the same conclusion, "Thank you. Doesn't Henry want some?"

"No," Her daughter replied, sprinkling cinnamon over the top of the whipped cream, and sitting down at the table with her mug, "It's been a long day so he was exhausted. He probably fell asleep the second his head hit the pillow."

They chuckled before falling silent for a moment, each sipping their hot chocolates deep in their own thoughts. Emma kept glancing between her and David, clearly sensing that they wanted to take advantage of the fact that Henry was asleep to talk about something. Exchanging another look with her husband, Snow knew that he, as always, was on the same page as her.

"So, Emma?" Her daughter looked up warily at her questioning tone, "Can we ask you about something? I know you might not want to discuss it, but we are your parents and we want to know everything about you, including things that may or may not be difficult to talk about and –,"

"What do you want to know?" Emma interrupted her rambling, a hesitant yet resigned look in her eyes. Snow only hoped that meant her daughter was in a sharing mood.

"What happened between you and Neal?" Snow asked bluntly. She figured there was no reason to beat around the bush now that Emma knew she was going to ask something that she probably did not want to discuss anyway. "How did you meet him? Why did things end badly?"

Emma had her common look of someone who wanted nothing more than to run on her face and her eyes briefly flickered toward the front door as if considering it, but Snow let out a sigh of relief when her daughter simply took a deep breath and closed her eyes. Snow was proud of Emma for not running from them this time.

Giving her daughter a moment to compose her thoughts, Snow's own thoughts drifted back to a few days previously, before Emma had called and explained that the Baelfire they found in New York was in fact Henry's father.

_She and David had been lying in bed. The morning light was breaking through her sheer, white curtains, signaling that it was time for the couple to get out of bed and ready for their day. Both knew they had to move but neither was ready. It had been a long time since they could just relax into each other's embrace and enjoy a chaos-free morning._

_After a few minutes of peaceful nothingness, Snow's mind began to wander. As it often did, her thoughts turned to her daughter. Emma. Snow could not be more proud of the woman she had grown in to; she was kindhearted, beautiful, brave, fiercely loyal, and strong willed, and never willing to back down from a challenge. Her only regret was that she was not there to see her grow up._

_As he often did, David seemed to shadow her thoughts._

_"Snow?"_

_"Hmm."_

_"How much do you know about Emma's childhood? I know she's not very willing to discuss her past, but she had to have told you some things when you were just her roommate." _

_Snow tilted her head so that her eyes met her husband's._

_"Not very much," She replied sadly, "You're right, she's not at all willing to share her past, but she has let some things slip. From what I heard, she has a reason to want to forget it."_

_A flash of pain and guilt graced his handsome features. Snow knew those feelings were mirrored on her own face. Yes, they had sent their infant daughter away to protect her and their entire kingdom, but she could not help but feel that it was not always the right decision. What was it that Emma said? 'Which curse is worse?' Snow had to agree with that sentiment._

_"Will you tell me?" David sounded desperate. Snow understood. She too wanted to know anything and everything about their daughter, no matter how painful it may be._

_Snow nodded._

_"She was in the foster system." She swallowed thickly, "Emma implied that she was always being shuffled around to new foster homes where she was nothing more than a meal ticket. And when she wasn't in a random family's home, she was in a group home, which was so overcrowded that, at times, they did not have enough supplies for all of the children who lived there."_

_David's eyes filled with pain and unshed tears, but Snow continued before he could comment._

_"She did not tell me this, but Henry mentioned to me that she did have a family at one point."_

_"A family? She was adopted?"_

_"She was going to be," Snow answered her husband's almost hopeful question, "They were her foster parents that took her in when she was only a few weeks old, and they planned to adopt her. Henry said they had all the adoption papers filled out and everything. But when she was three years old, the parents had their own child, and they felt that they had no need to adopt anymore, so they gave her away. They sent her back to being a ward of the state."_

_Her husband's tear-filled eyes hardened with anger. "Who the hell does that to a child?"_

_Snow placed her hand on his heaving chest in order to calm him down. Not that she was particularly calm herself. In her opinion, this couple who would dare give away a child for no reason except that they had no use for her anymore belonged on the business end of one of her arrows. However, there was nothing they could do about that now._

_"I know." She shushed him, "I know, I'm angry at them too. I hate the fact that our Emma had to learn rejection and exactly how cruel the world can be at only three years old."_

_He said nothing, breathing heavily as if trying to control the urge to get up and find his sword._

_"How does Henry know?" David asked after he calmed down enough to form words._

_"Apparently when Emma first arrived here in Storybrooke, Henry had been trying to convince her to stay by telling her how much his life sucked," Snow sighed sadly, "And she got angry at him for being unappreciative of the fact that he had a home and a mother who wanted him when she didn't her whole life. I think her anger got the best of her and she let that little fact about her life slip out to him."_

_"Oh."_

_"Yes."_

_He paused._

_"So she was in the foster system her whole life. Then what?" He asked as if he really did not want to know the answer._

_"I don't know much after that except that she said she had Henry at eighteen while in jail, then became a bail bondsperson."_

_David whistled, sounding almost devastated at the news. "Eighteen. She was so young and had no one to help her. And in jail? What did she do?"_

_"I don't know what she did to be arrested, but, yes, eighteen. That's what she said, anyway."_

_He looked sharply at her. "You don't believe her."_

_"I've done the math." Snow shook her head. "Henry found her on her twenty-eighth birthday, at which point he was already ten."_

_"Which means she was actually seventeen when he was born." David sighed._

_"Exactly. She was born October 22 and Henry's birthday is March 30, which, if you think about it, means that she was actually only sixteen when she got pregnant."_

_David sighed deeply, eyes wide. Snow knew exactly what he was thinking: Emma was just too young and too alone. They should have been there for her. If they had, Snow was sure she never would have given up Henry._

_"Why do you think she lied about her age?" David asked, interrupting her thoughts._

_"Well," Snow answered slowly, "The topic of Henry's father came up once, and the only thing she said was that he was not a good guy and Henry did not need to know the true story, which is why she lied to him about his father being dead. She said he never even knew of the baby. Maybe she lied about her age to protect herself, and Henry, from him."_

_She could see David's face grow red with anger at the thought of some man hurting their baby girl. It was bad enough that she had to go through her pregnancy and the giving up of her son alone, but to think that it was because the man who got her into that situation had hurt her even more. Snow shook her head, breathing deeply. The more she thought about it, the angrier she grew. _

_"I want to know." David insisted suddenly, "I know she's not ready to tell us anything, but I want to know everything. We have a right to know."_

_"So do I, and I agree." replied Snow, equally as firm, "There's only one way to find out. We have to sit her down when she returns from her mission with Gold and have a long discussion about her life. Hopefully, she'll be ready to open up soon."_

Emma's sigh pulled Snow from her memory. She had opened her eyes and looked reluctantly ready to speak. However, before Emma could even begin her story, Snow felt the need to voice one last request.

"Oh, and Emma?" Snow inserted quickly, "I've done the math. I know you told me you were eighteen, but I know you were younger."

Her daughter flinched, clearly unhappy that they figured it out. They both knew it was not difficult to figure out, but obviously Emma hoped that they would not put in the effort.

After a moment, Emma sighed and began, "Well, you both know I grew up in the foster system."

Snow and David nodded, both relieved that she was trusting them enough with this part of her past.

"When I was sixteen," She continued, emotionlessly, "I was so fed up with the system that I ran away. I escaped from the home I was living in, in Portland, Maine, in the middle of the night, only bringing with me my blanket and some old papers that I had collected over the years."

"What kind of papers?" David asked curiously.

"Anything that had any kind of record of me. Mostly, school report cards and old homework that I was proud of."

David nodded, motioning her to continue.

"I lived on the streets for a few days, stealing food and struggling to find a place to sleep at night" – Snow's heart broke at knowing her daughter lived the same way she did when she was on the run – "but it was better than where I came from. Lucky for me, Maine had had a very mild winter that year, so the weather was already starting to get warm. However, after a few days, I decided I was going to steal a car. I planned on driving away, maybe somewhere south, far enough that I wouldn't be found. I didn't really care where I went; I just wanted the car so I would have somewhere consistent to sleep."

Snow felt David reach over and grab her hand, gripping it tight. She wanted to reach for her daughter with her other hand but she was unsure if Emma would accept the comfort.

"I found the bug in a deserted alley one morning –," Emma started again, before Snow interrupted.

"Wait, your bug is stolen?" She could not help but exclaim. She noticed David's poorly concealed smirk out of the corner of her eye.

Emma chuckled humorlessly, "It was. Don't worry, its legal now."

Snow nodded sheepishly as Emma continued.

"Anyway, I picked the lock and got in, using a screwdriver to start the engine. Just as I was driving around the corner, a man jumped out of the back seat. Neal. Apparently, I was stealing an already stolen car."

"What!" Snow shouted in disbelief as David snorted next to her. "You were stealing his car, which he had already stolen from somebody else?"

Nodding, Emma gave them a sarcastic smile.

"Go on, what happened next?" Snow insisted.

"Well, after we were pulled over for running a stop sign and Neal managed to talk our way out of a ticket" – David shook his head, amused – "he insisted that we go get a drink. I wasn't sure of him at first, but eventually I agreed to meet him at an old rundown amusement park for coffee that night. We wound up sitting on these old swings, in the rain, talking all night long. I felt like I really connected with him; he was the first person I ever felt connected with."

She paused, a faraway look in her eyes.

"He knew I had nowhere else to go, so he told me to come stay in the bug with him," Snow's eyes widened as she continued, "I did, and we became partners in crime. We had a whole Bonnie and Clyde act going, robbing convenient stores and sneaking into motels to use the showers. We were together for three months before we found out he was a wanted criminal."

"For what?" David asked defensively. Even if this did happen twelve years ago, and Emma has definitely been in her fair share of bad situations, he did not want his daughter around someone who was dangerous.

"He stole watches from a jewelry store that he worked at as a janitor a few months before I met him."

David whistled.

"He had them stashed in a locker at a train station so no one would find them but apparently he had been caught on video surveillance at the store so they knew who he was anyway. Neal told me he had to escape to Canada alone, even though we had both just decided to go to Tallahassee and start our lives over together. So I volunteered to get the watches from the train station. He said they were worth about twenty thousand dollars so we could easily use that to find a place in Tallahassee."

"Oh, Emma," Snow sighed as David shook his head.

"It wasn't hard to get the watches," Her voice was becoming more detached and Snow could tell that her daughter was only just getting to the worst part of her tale, "Neal gave me one. He said that way I could know what time to meet him. I waited in our meeting place for hours while he went to sell the watches. Eventually someone showed up, only it wasn't him. It was a police officer."

Snow gasped, knowing exactly where this was going.

"He had his gun pointed at me, and he told me I was under arrest for being in possession of stolen property. He said the proof was right there on my wrist."

"That bastard set you up!" yelled David angrily, standing up and pacing next to the table. Snow could feel the tears in her eyes but she refused to let them fall because she knew Emma would not appreciate that.

Emma nodded solemnly, "I only just found out that the reason he left was because August – Pinocchio – told him that if he stayed with me, I wouldn't be able to complete my destiny of breaking the curse. And Neal was too much of a coward to fight for me; he used my destiny as the Savior as an excuse to hide from his father."

David growled as he sat down, mumbling something about Neal needing to meet his fist and sword the next time he sees him. Snow could feel her hands shaking as she balled them up into fists. She agreed wholeheartedly with her husband's murmured assessment.

Clearly waiting for them to get control over their emotions, Emma hesitated until Snow gestured for her to continue.

"So I would up in a women's correctional institute in Phoenix, Arizona," Emma said matter-of-factly. "I got eleven months. Two months into my time there, I found out I was pregnant."

David growled again. "So he never even bothered to check up on you? You never heard from him again?"

"Nope," She looked down at her wringing hands, "He sent me the keys to the bug attached to a keychain he stole for me when we first got together and, I found out when I got out, he left the bug waiting for me with a new VIN number so it would actually be legal, but other than that, nothing."

"Then you had Henry." Snow prompted tearfully.

Emma looked back up, unshed tears in her eyes, and nodded.

"I had him while cuffed to a hospital bed." She whispered thickly. "After I had him, I couldn't even look at him. They asked me if I wanted to hold him, told me I could change my mind, and that's why I couldn't. I still had three months left in my time and, even after I got out, I was a teenager, with no job, no family, and living out of my tiny car. I loved him so much already and it killed me when I told them to take him from me, but I knew I couldn't do it, I couldn't be a mother, and I couldn't give him the home he needed."

Snow couldn't stop the tears as they finally came loose and rolled down her face. David's hand in hers was shaking uncontrollably and she knew he was fighting his own tears. Her poor baby. Her baby was so alone and in so much pain and there was nothing she could do about it. Snow knew firsthand how heart wrenching it is to give up a baby. It's the worst feeling in the world; a mixture of guilt, longing, failure, and, mostly, like your heart is being ripped from your chest.

Emma, who had been staring intently at her own hands, turned her head suddenly. Snow could see her lip trembling and her heart broke that her baby girl still felt the need to hide her pain. Standing up, Snow quickly made her way across the table and pulled Emma into a hug. She could feel David join them a second later. The three of them stood there for a while, simply holding onto each other and drawing strength from each other's arms.

Snow had to give Emma credit. Though she was trembling, Emma refused to let her tears fall, refused to let go of that one last brick of her wall built around her heart.

When she spoke again, her voice was thick and somber. "I know you guys want to know more. About my childhood in the system, about after jail, but let's save that for another time."

Nodding quickly, Snow replied, "Of course. We are so grateful that you trusted us with this much. We want to know everything about your life, Emma, but take all the time you need."

Emma gave them a small smile as David nodded in agreement next to her.

Snow really was so glad that Emma was lowering her walls enough to let David and her know a little bit about her past, and she couldn't wait to know the rest of it, no matter how painful it may be. Emma's past may be filled with pain and abandonment, but Snow can guarantee that her future is filled with love and family. She would continue to remind her every single day for the rest of her life if she had to.

**A/N: The timing of Emma's pregnancy and jail stay, as well as Henry's birthday are all from my imagination. It always confused me that Emma said she was eighteen when Henry was clearly already ten when he met her. As for Henry's birthday, I was going to make it May 30 to honor Jared Gilmore, but from what I've been able to piece together from interviews, I'd guess his birthday is in March.**

**Let me know what you think!**


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